


A Memory

by TheSoundOfThunderstorms



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Emotional Conflict, F/F, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 08:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17484446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoundOfThunderstorms/pseuds/TheSoundOfThunderstorms
Summary: One assignment cleared from the record.





	A Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning: While there are happy moments, it will not end happily. No character death.  
> With that said,
> 
> Enjoy :)

A dim light glowed in the small space. It came from a lamp with a crooked lampshade. Amélie had a faint memory of knocking it over last night. Hurried hands rushed to put it back on the bedside table. She must have forgotten to fix the lampshade.

Amélie stared down at her hands, hopelessly trying to remember why they were shaking. She remembered a lot. Dancing. Shopping. Laughing. Staring down the scope of her rifle, unable to look away from her kill.

The doors opened. Someone came in and placed a holopad in her hand. “You have an assignment.” They left.

Her hands stilled as she read the projected screen.

-

She stepped off the dropship, suitcase in one hand and rifle case in the other. The streets were dark but still bustling with activity. Amélie pulled her hat down lower as she made her way to her destination. She was told to make sure no one recognized her. She knew the reasoning at one time but as the days passed, it became a pinch of a memory.

A child pushed past her as she went to go inside the main lobby of the address she was given. Amélie managed to walk inside when two more children shoved by her, probably chasing after the first one. She caught the tail end of their excited chatter, “Hurry, she said to be quick.” Amélie couldn’t hear their laughter once they had gone outside.

The elevator shook on the way to the sixth floor like it was going to snap away from the cables at any second. Old technology. It stopped with a screech. Amélie stepped out and read the numbers labeling each door as she walked down the hallway. 611. She put her suitcase down and knocked.

A woman opened the door. Her red-tipped hair was short, the sides of her head shaved with some sort of cybernetics installed. She scratched the back of her head with a smile.

“Sombra?”

Sombra nodded. She opened the door wider and ushered for Amélie to come inside. Closing the door behind them, she moved past Amélie into the living room. She pointed to a dark archway. “The bathroom is at the end of the hall and there’s a room to the left of it where you can put your stuff in.” She took a seat on the couch and went to typing on the laptop sitting on the coffee table.

The room that Sombra spoke about was the only bedroom. And it was completely empty. Amélie put her things down on the floor by the door and closed it behind her as she left. She got back to the living room and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and a small frown on her face. “There’s no bed.” The living room didn’t have much either causing her frown to deepen.

Sombra patted the couch she sat on. “You’re looking at it.”

“So, I’m supposed to share the couch with you.”

Sombra nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It reclines.” She looked away from her laptop and pointed her chin towards the little closet behind Amélie. “And I got you a blanket.”

“On the couch with just a blanket and you?”

Sombra blinked. She lifted two fingers. “Two blankets. _Two_ blankets and me.”

For the first time in days, Amélie felt more than a complicated, unrecognizable emotion. Anger. It flared to life until her fingers clenched tightly. It left as soon as it came. Almost breathless. Amélie nearly stumbled forward as she fought to catch her breath. She opened her eyes to a concerned face standing before her. When did they close?

“You need to sit down?”

Amélie pushed away from the wall and walked back into the hallway. She needed space. But her body wanted her to turn around and get as close as she could. It craved human interaction. And that was ridiculous because the last time she spoke to anyone was… When was the last time? She stopped with a hand pressed to the door to the room. As she pushed it open, she peered over her shoulder, catching two worried eyes peeking at her from the edge of the wall. She whipped her head forward and disappeared inside the room.

Something wasn’t right. Shows, dinners, laughter. Targets. She blinked.

She had an assignment. She needed to speak to Sombra about the mission. The sleeping situation wasn’t ideal but that wasn’t important.

Amélie left the room. She noticed Sombra typed quickly as she approached the couch. The tapping stopped once Amélie took a seat on the far cushion. “Do you have the-”

A knock sounded on the door.

Sombra got up from the couch, one finger raised to the air. “Hold that thought.”

With nothing else to do, Amélie watched Sombra open the door. The same three kids from earlier were there, all toothy smiles as Sombra greeted them enthusiastically.

The door closed not long after that. Sombra came back to her spot on the couch with a bag in her hand. She held it up. “Hungry? I sort of forgot you were coming today so I asked the kids to get something for us.”

Amélie regarded the bag. It was white and plain but smelled amazing. A question wouldn’t leave her mind. “Kids?”

“I got this place about a week ago. When I was moving in these three kids came running up to me begging to help with my stuff in exchange for some cash.” Sombra shrugged. “They’ve been coming back so I’ve been having them do odd jobs for more cash.”

Charitable. Amélie smiled at the admired trait. And then she found herself freezing, trying to find a reason on why she cared at all about the story. It was hard to get rid of her smile.

Sombra took out two take-out containers and put them on the coffee table. She slid one to Amélie and opened her own. She clapped her hands together and laughed, obviously enjoying what the kids picked out.

Amélie opened hers.

Her mouth watered from the smell.

-

Amélie had fallen asleep to the light shining from Sombra’s laptop. It was a constant string of clicking keys she heard until she woke up to the sunlight streaming through the curtains.

The blanket fell to Amélie’s waist when she sat up and closed her reclined seat. The blanket was admittedly soft and Sombra didn’t do anything to disturb her sleep during the night. She could put up with the situation until the assignment was over, it was just, given her specific orders, having space to herself would have been more ideal.

Amélie got up from her seat and made her way to the kitchen. In the past, she’d always go for something light but somewhere along the past few days, she found herself wanting a meal that had more substance.

There was food in the kitchen. Another relief. Amélie found a blueberry jam in the fridge and a loaf of bread sealed in a paper bag. She cut some generous slices and tossed them in a buttered pan. While she waited for the bread, Amélie searched the rest of the kitchen to get an idea on what she could make in the future. One thing caught her eye: hot chocolate. It had been- She couldn’t remember the last time she had it.

“Actually, that looks good right now.”

Amélie nearly dropped the package of hot chocolate at Sombra’s voice. She turned around and found Sombra rubbing her eyes a few steps behind her. The package crinkled beneath her fingers as Amélie squeezed it harder.

“I could make it if you want some.” Sombra pointed to the hexagonal-shaped box slowly crumpling in Amélie’s grasp.

Amélie wanted to get closer. Just like the night before, she struggled with trying to remember the last time she spent any time with someone else as if a chunk of her life had vanished. She couldn’t help but think that the closer she got to Sombra, the better she could remember anything similar that happened recently. She held the box of hot chocolate out to Sombra.

“Yes, it looks good.” Their fingers touched. Amélie saw a glimpse of something in her mind. A blink of an image.

Sombra smiled. She pulled out a wrapped chocolate tablet and put the rest of it away. Taking out a knife, Sombra cut the puck in half. It seemed she didn’t care about scratches on the counter. Sombra pulled out a small pot and poured milk into it. She dropped the half-puck of chocolate into the milk and pointed at Amélie’s pan of bread. “How long did you want them on for?”

A slight burning wafted to Amélie. She rushed to the stove and hurriedly scooped her toast out of the pan. A bit of black in some spots but nothing the jam couldn’t cover up. On her way to the small table, Amélie dumped her pan and spatula in the sink.

Amélie sat down and busied herself with her breakfast as the aroma of hot chocolate filled the room. She thought about their conversation last night, how Sombra said she wasn’t going to do anything today. They were on a time table. She reported it. Nothing happened. Sombra had to be a bigger asset than she thought if the higher-ups were okay to let it go.

A steaming cup appeared by Amélie’s plate. It had a tower of whipped cream swirled on top of it.

Sombra sat on the other side of the table with her own cup and a white mustache smeared across her lips. She took another sip of her hot chocolate before wiping off her upper lip. “I was thinking about the ‘you’re not allowed to go outside except for assignments’ thing and I think I thought of a little loophole.”

That was something she didn’t expect. Amélie looked at her own hot drink. “And what’s that?”

“The roof. No one is going to recognize you up there. If they can’t see you, then they definitely don’t know what you did.” Sombra smiled.

Amélie couldn’t remember that. She looked Sombra in the eye and took a chance. “And what did I do?”

The smile fell for an instant. Sombra looked away. “Well, you know, if you don’t remember, it means you don’t have to worry about it.”

“You’re lying.”

Sombra stopped trying to smile. She focused back on Amélie as she pulled her drink closer. “Sorry, I’m not supposed to tell you.”

Amélie watched Sombra down the rest of her drink. She heard Sombra clean her cup and the way the couch groaned under Sombra’s weight. And it was back to typing.

She was stuck.

Amélie was stuck at the table, remembering the look in Sombra’s eyes.

Pity.

-

The roofed helped. Especially after the second day Sombra decided she was going to skimp out on the assignment. And if Sombra wasn’t going to work, Amélie literally couldn’t. Beyond frustrating. But all Sombra kept saying was that she had things that needed to be finished.

Amélie reported it, again, but just like last time, nothing happened, again. So, the roof helped. It helped because, despite her frustration with Sombra, she noticed the other things. Concern. Curiosity. Amusement. Pity. It was the pity that drove her up to the roof because everything else made her want to stay.

She couldn’t understand what the pity was for. What was there to pity? Nothing happened to her to warrant that damn look that made her feel like some sort of charity case. Nothing happened.

It also didn’t help that the air-conditioning broke down that day as well. Unfortunate for the middle of summer. The breeze on the roof provided some relief from the sweltering heat.

Amélie sighed away the last of her frustrations and headed back down to the apartment. It was nearing sunset and it should have cooled down.

The first thing she saw was an exact replica of what contributed to her trip to the roof. Sombra was sprawled out on the floor, skin shining with sweat. Sombra had her shirt hiked up in a small attempt to help cool off. A water bottle sat next to her. Sombra would occasionally drink from it but mostly she’d pour a bit of it over her head claiming that the implants made the heat even worse and that she needed to keep them cooled down. All of that translated to a frustrated attraction for Amélie. Coupled with that damn pity, it drove Amélie mad.

Amélie closed the door shut behind her. She crossed through to the living room and got down on her hands and knees, hovering her face above Sombra’s. Plucking the water bottle from Sombra’s hand, she placed it on the floor and waited for Sombra to open her eyes.

“Oh, you’re back.”

Amélie took care to keep her face neutral. Of course Sombra knew she was there. There was no way Sombra didn’t hear her come inside, she wasn’t exactly gentle with the door. And there was also the fact that Sombra had to have felt her get close. Another game Sombra played. “Tomorrow. We start the assignment tomorrow.” She stared down at Sombra, waiting for her to reply and refusing to accept any other answer than ‘yes’.

Purple eyes blinked up at Amélie. Sombra wiped away a few stray droplets of water that ran down her forehead. A tinge of red spread across her cheeks and she turned her gaze away. “Yeah, okay.”

Instant relief. Amélie took in a breath of air and nodded. She got up from the floor and sat on the couch. Periodically, she’d peek back to Sombra just to find her still on the floor staring up at the ceiling. At one-point Sombra finally moved.

Sombra downed the rest of her water and stood up. She made mention about taking a shower and disappeared down the hall.

Without the noise of the air conditioning or a tv, all Amélie could hear was the shower running in the background. She couldn’t even use her holopad to watch something. It had restricted internet access.

Excited knocking on the front door lifted Amélie from her boredom and gave her a predicament. Was she even allowed to answer the door? She got up anyway, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to see who was on the other side.

The children from the other day stood smiling on the other side of the door waiting patiently for an answer. They were just children. What was the harm in talking to them? Amélie opened the door.

The children quieted down at the sight of Amélie. They spoke in whispers to each other until one of them finally spoke up.

“Where’s the nice lady?”

Amélie frowned. She couldn’t really argue that Sombra _wasn’t_ nice. By all means, Sombra was kind to her, just frustrating to interact with. “She’s in the shower.”

The children seemed disappointed by the answer. They went back to whispering. It looked like they were trying to get one of them to say something. It was half a minute of muted apprehension until a different child spoke up. “Do you have anything for us to do?”

It clicked. They were looking for a job. “I…” Amélie’s stomach growled. She could make her own meal but the three of them were looking at her with all the hope in the world. “Could you get us something to eat?”

The children nodded enthusiastically and one of them held out their hand.

Money. Money she didn’t have. Amélie looked around near the door and spotted a little table nearby. It had a couple of credit chips sitting on it. Taking all the money, she handed it to the kids.

Little eyes lit up in excitement. The children left in a hurry shouting that they’d be back soon.

As soon as Amélie closed the door she turned around and found Sombra standing in the archway to the kitchen looking at her apprehensively.

“Who was at the door?” Sombra had a towel around her neck, part of it raised in the air to dry her hair.

“Your little helpers.”

Visible relief flooded Sombra’s face. She resumed drying her hair. “You send them home?”

Amélie shook her head. “They asked me for something to do. I had them get food.” She pointed to the small table. “I gave them the money sitting by the door.”

Sombra walked over to the little table. She turned around with her jaw dropped. “You gave them _all_ the money.”

Shit. “That wasn’t what it was for?”

Sombra laughed. She shook her head and waved off the question. “No, I mean, it was. But I usually give them one. You had them walk out of here with 900 credits.” Sombra wiped at her eyes as she calmed down. “They probably like you more than me now.”

And that was it. Sombra made no other mention about the money. She even greeted the kids enthusiastically when they came back with their food. They whispered something to Sombra that Amélie couldn’t catch but it all became clear when Sombra looked at Amélie and turned back to the children with a dismissive wave saying, “She’s out of my league.”

-

They got ready for work the next afternoon. The goal was to take over most of the arms dealing in Mexico. Talon was growing fast and needed a steady supply of weapon shipments. The only problem was the negotiation, or rather, the lack thereof. Amélie’s job was to take out key targets involved in the deals, making for fresh leadership that was more agreeable to work with. She understood that Sombra had a part in gathering information and in assisting Amélie in her work.

A rush of excitement swept through Amélie as she finished getting ready. She picked up her rifle case and left the bedroom, stopping when she saw Sombra in the living room.

Sombra stood near the hallway putting on a pair of gloves. She had on a black outfit, the material of her suit patterned with hexagonal shapes. Fiddling with one hand, she made a screen appear before her and closed it in satisfaction. She had a belt that held three sets of _something._ A submachine gun was also clipped to it.

“You ready?” asked Sombra.

She was ready two days ago. “Yes.”

They rode to their first destination in a hijacked hovercar Sombra sent flying when they arrived.

On a rooftop across where they needed to be, Sombra brought up a screen of surveillance footage. She whizzed past them until she found one that pointed her in the right direction. “He’s in a meeting right now, fifth floor.” She dropped one of the devices from her belt on the roof and it lit up with a purple light. “Middle window.”

Amélie had her rifle at the ready and homed in on her target. He had a cigar in his mouth, puffing away at it while his associates spoke.

As if Sombra could read her mind, she spoke exactly what Amélie wanted to do. “Bonus points if you can knock the cigar out of his mouth first.” And then she disappeared.

Furrowing her brows, Amélie activated the prototype visor they had given her. She scoped the building looking for her partner and managed to spot her running through the top floor. How did she get there so quick? She continued to watch, taking in how fast Sombra ran.

It was its own little spectacle. Sombra broke into an office and took a seat in the big chair situated at the desk. She typed something on the computer there and then leaned back into the chair, throwing candies from the bowl on the desk into the air and attempting to catch them with her mouth as they fell back down. No hint of urgency at all.

Amélie focused back on her target and took aim. The first shot pierced through the glass, shattering it instantly before accurately hitting just the cigar from the man’s lips. He didn’t have time to panic as the next shot hit him right between the eyes. Amélie kept her scope on the dead man. Pride filled her system at the clean kill.

An alarm sounded. Amélie moved her sights away from her kill and looked for Sombra. She was still in that same office, this time rooting around the drawers as several people headed her way.

Just as the office door was about to open, Sombra suddenly appeared right next to Amélie with a box in her hand. She held it out for Amélie to see. “I found his cigars.” She put the box down and brought up a purple screen. Footage of the kill replayed in a video clip. Sombra sent it as an attachment along with a slew of information. After she was done, she picked up the device she had dropped before and set it back on her belt.

“What is that?”

“My translocator. Gets me wherever I stick it. Or throw it.”

“I didn’t know Talon had that technology.”

Sombra grinned. “They don’t. Saw this little gadget lying around so I took it and made it better.”

“You mean you stole it.”

Sombra shrugged unapologetically. “I guess you can say that. But the important part is I made it better. The uh… Scientist that originally designed it didn’t see the potential I saw. It took a little tinkering but now, wouldn’t you say I’m pretty stealthy?”

And now she saw why Talon needed Sombra. Even though Sombra was obviously hiding something, her talents were worth the investment. She rolled her eyes at the obvious play for validation. “Maybe.”

Sombra laughed. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of candy, probably having come from the candy bowl in that office. “You’re funny, you know that?”

Heat rushed to her face. Amélie got up and got to work putting her rifle away. It kept her busy and gave her ample time for the blush to fade. At this point, she already gave in to the fact that she found Sombra attractive. Anyone with any taste could see that. What really got under her skin was the fact that one compliment had her so affected, like she hadn’t heard one until now. And that was ridiculous because she got them all the time for… For what?

“You okay?”

Amélie blinked. She had her rifle clutched in her arms as she hovered over its case. Amélie stuffed the rifle inside along with her visor and closed the case in a hurry. “I’m fine.”

Sombra frowned. “You sure?” She studied the ground beneath them and then came up with something. “Want to get something to eat? Maybe food will help.”

She wasn’t supposed to be seen. What exactly was Sombra getting at? “I thought-”

“You don’t have to worry about that when you’re with me.”

It was a chance that Amélie wanted to take. “Okay.”

-

It was after they went back to the apartment and changed that Amélie found herself sitting in a high-class restaurant with Sombra opposite her. They weren’t dressed up in the slightest, the both of them sticking out like a sore thumb among the other dinner patrons. Sombra didn’t care so she didn’t either.

While they spent time going over the menu, Amélie noticed a few things. Every single guest kept complaining about their devices not working. Someone commented on the lack of music and another person pointed out that the holographic displays weren’t functioning. Even their waiter apologized in advance telling them that their systems were down and that they’d have to input all the orders manually and make use of their physical menus.

“Did you do this?”

“Do what?” Sombra kept flipping through her menu. Her eyes didn’t focus on anything on the pages but her smile grew.

“You know exactly what’s going on.”

Sombra’s eyes lit up with amusement as frustrated guests left the restaurant. “I’m just here trying to eat like the rest.”

Amélie looked around herself again and noticed that the restaurant was practically empty. A few guests were finishing their meals but they quickly left as well. “This is what you meant, isn’t it?”

“Mhm.”

It was nice. No other patrons to complain about their meal. The food came quick. And Sombra made her laugh. She’d tell stories about past jobs and describe in detail the things she saw while cloaked. Even when Amélie struggled to come up with her tales, the culprit being a lapse in memory, Sombra waved it off and told her it was okay.

A night of relief. The worry was gone.

Amélie paused as they left the restaurant. She stared at her reflection in the window. What exactly was there to worry about?

-

The next night after another successful kill, Sombra took Amélie to the beach. A sudden trip after picking up some street food.

Amélie held her shoes in her hand as she walked along the wet shore. Her feet sunk with each step, cool water washing over them in waves. She stayed a couple steps behind Sombra, her attention glued to the night sky reflected in the dark waters.

Shoes flew to dry sand. Amélie splashed her way through the water. The moderate waves collided against her again and again. She lost her footing.

Sombra’s worried face came into view when Amélie resurfaced. She stood there, out of breath with one hand clutching onto her head.

“I thought you were still behind me,” Sombra dropped her hand, “but when I turned around, you were gone.”

It was a spur of the moment action to get in the water. Some part of her felt relief that Sombra went after her. “You came looking for me.”

“Of course I did. You had me scared. Just, don’t disappear like that.” Sombra smiled. “That’s my thing.”

Amélie reached out for Sombra’s hand. An image came to her. She couldn’t see it clearly, the memory was blurred beyond recognition. But it was warm and she squeezed Sombra’s hand tighter, trying to draw it out for as long as she could. “I have a question.”

Sombra looked down at the linked hands between them. Conflicted eyes narrowed but she didn’t let go. “Shoot.”

“How come your hair’s not wet?” Amélie let go of Sombra’s hand and backed a step away with a growing smile on her face.

Sombra stood there confused. She let her hand drop into the water. “Huh?” Her eyes squeezed shut as a splash of salt-water drenched her face.

“Better.”

Mischief shone in purple eyes. Sombra lunged forward, trying to grab Amélie. She fell into the water instead. Amélie had gotten out of the way in time.

Muscles aching to move, Amélie faced toward the incoming waves and hurried her way deeper through the waters. Splashing sounded behind her. Sombra hadn’t given up just yet.

It wasn’t until Amélie had to stand on her toes to reach the sand below did strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her under. She could have sworn she saw something in the water.

Amélie resurfaced to find Sombra floating on her back laughing. Sombra’s grin shone in the moonlight. She was clearly happy with herself. “I didn’t think you’d catch up.”

“Is it cheating if I started swimming instead?”

“Yes.”

Sombra’s grin never faltered. “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care for technicalities. Still won.”

Amélie joined Sombra in floating. The waves moving her body carried away the strain in her muscles from going against the ocean’s current. As she looked up at the moon, she couldn’t help but think the sight familiar.

A bright light shined above her. Amélie heard screaming. Her own.

Her view of the moon blurred, impeded by the water shifting over her submerged body.

A figure stared down at her, saying the same thing as her desperate hands pressed against glass.

Breathe.

And she did. One deep breath. She heard a beeping. Two deep breaths. Darkness swallowed her vision.

Her body shook. Amélie curled up on her side and coughed up an impossible amount of water. Sand stuck to her face and she could see Sombra from the corner of her eye hovering close. She was terrified.

Sombra’s mouth opened and closed. She tried to speak but kept changing what she wanted to say. “Can you,” shaking hands buried themselves in red-tipped hair, “can you even swim?”

Another cough. “Yes.”

Sombra bent over until her elbows hit the sand. “Fuck.”

Amélie propped herself up on a sand-covered elbow. She didn’t understand what was happening.

“Are you okay?”

Despite her burning lungs, Amélie didn’t feel anything else that was physically wrong. She eyed the water and knew something was up. Far from okay. “Yes.”

Sombra straightened up. Her sand covered arms dropped to her sides and she held her head towards the sky, eyes squeezed tight. “Are you lying to me?”

No answer.

Another string of expletives left Sombra’s mouth. She dropped her head and took in a deep breath. “Okay. Okay, okay, okay.” Sombra stood up, dusting away the sand from her arms and legs as best as she could. “We’re leaving.”

-

When they got back to the apartment, Sombra marched to the bathroom first. She only spent a few minutes in there before coming back out. Sombra walked in front of Amélie and nodded towards the hallway. “Go get warmed up.” She squeezed something in her hand.

Amélie didn’t argue the fact that Sombra was just as soaked as she was. She nodded and went to the empty bedroom to retrieve some dry clothes before getting inside the bathroom.

As hot water sprayed against her body, Amélie stared down at the drain and noticed something.

The drain stopper was missing from the tub.

-

With another target off the list, they went straight back to the apartment. That whole day Sombra stayed silent. She’d occasionally glance in Amélie’s direction but she’d always look away, brows furrowed.

Sombra busied herself with dinner for them. Her hands made quick work with chopping vegetables and searing the meat.

Amélie watched from Sombra’s spot on the couch. There was nothing else to do really.

“Dinner’s done.”

Amélie got up from the couch. She took the seat opposite Sombra at the table. A steaming plate sat in front of her. The smell had Amélie picking up her silverware, already curious to the taste. In her time there, Sombra hadn’t cooked once. It was always simple food. Like sandwiches.

After the first bite, Amélie wanted more. She focused on eating and ignored the fact that Sombra hadn’t said a word since sitting at the table.

“I’m sorry.”

Amélie scraped up the last of her meal, leaving her plate empty. She regarded Sombra who wore guilt on her face. “Hmm?”

Sombra moved around the food on her untouched plate. “I’m sorry for today. For ignoring you.”

As far as she knew, Sombra didn’t have to indulge her in small talk. As long as the assignment got done, it really didn’t matter. But there was a part of her that was grateful to hear those words. The part that felt itself growing restless with the lack of communication. The part that felt that it was a punishment. “Did I upset you?” Amélie didn’t know why she even asked that question because Sombra was the one that was upsetting _her._ Sombra was the one with the kept secrets. Sombra was the one with the contradictory actions. Sombra was the one with that stupidly beautiful smile. It was Sombra who should have asked that question so she could spew out all her frustrations.

“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Sombra sighed, pushing away her plate. “It was my fault you almost drowned. I shouldn’t have taken you there in the first place.”

That’s what happened. She almost drowned. And of course, she knew. Her body knew. The aching lungs and coughing out water. But it wasn’t what she saw, what she experienced. To Amélie, it looked like something else entirely. Something she couldn’t remember for the life of her. She nodded anyway, accepting the apology for what it was.

Sombra regarded her plate again. She sighed once more and picked it up. Going into the kitchen she covered the plate in foil and placed it in the fridge. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Amélie got up, her plate forgotten. She was never going to say no to a chance to bend the limits of her orders. Orders she still didn’t understand.

Sombra took her to a local park.

There was a performance going on. A band playing a lively tune for a small crowd. Sombra lit up at the display. She had turned to Amélie and asked something that made her heart pound harder.

“Do you want to dance?”

She hadn’t danced in a long time. Memories of past performances were clear as day but Amélie couldn’t remember the last time she did it. Work overshadowed her past time, the hobby she enjoyed so much. She didn’t have to think on it. Amélie grabbed Sombra’s hand and pulled her towards the crowd.

A few people complained that their phones stopped working. The disappointment in their lack of ability to record the show only made Amélie grin. The smile grew with each instruction Sombra gave her for the dance. She had played dumb, denying that she knew the dance Sombra was trying to teach her. The contact felt so good. Amélie would have lied again in a heartbeat.

-

It took months to weed out their dwindling list. The targets got smart, taking to hiding after a string of their acquaintances came up dead. It didn’t matter. Sombra found them. She always found them.

Amélie couldn’t help it anymore. Couldn’t help how she felt. Ever since the beach, Sombra was kinder. And it wasn’t as if Sombra wasn’t kind before. It was just that she went out of her way now to show her generosity. If there was something she wanted, Sombra went out and got. Sombra would sneak her into the movie theater, they’d go sight-seeing, dined at the best restaurants, pulled pranks on the locals, and so much more.

Amélie asked Sombra about it, about all the effort she went through. The answer had the last of her resolve crumbling.

“I want you to be happy.”

She kissed Sombra one night, right after their second to last kill. Sombra’s lips were soft and warmer than she expected. So, so warm. Her heart stopped when Sombra kissed her back. It felt so good to be pressed against the wall, to be kissed with all the pent-up passion she kept bottle up.

Until Sombra pulled away, guilt shining in her eyes.

Amélie reached out for her, clueless as to why they had to stop. A pang of hurt spread through her chest when Sombra moved away from the touch. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Tears welled up in Sombra’s eyes. She stared down at the ground with balled fists.

She didn’t understand. Amélie reached out again, touching a shaking shoulder. Her hand fell back to her side as Sombra ripped her shoulder away from the touch like she was burned from it.

“Just don’t,” Sombra looked back at Amélie, “please.”

The frustration came back. Because she knew. It had everything to do with what Sombra wasn’t telling her. “What the hell are you hiding from me?”

Sombra exhaled sharply. And then she got angry. She spoke in broken, harsh tones. Words that hurt to hear because Amélie didn’t want them to be true.

When Sombra was done, she wiped away her tears and told Amélie that they had to go.

She followed. Despite the pain, she didn’t want to be alone.

-

Sombra entered the apartment first. She left the door open behind her and headed straight for the couch. Her body sank into her usual cushion as she stared holes into the floor.

Amélie closed the front door and leaned against it. Her eyes trained on Sombra as she recalled the harsh tones from earlier. An outburst of anger. She should have been angry too, angry that Sombra kept it from her. But she couldn’t help but think that’s what Sombra wanted.

And why was that?

Amélie stepped closer, finally getting an answer as Sombra lifted her eyes. Sombra was scared. “I know that there’s something missing. But being with you made it seem like it was okay, that I could still be happy with a fragment of myself gone.” She took another chance. “‘I want you to be happy.’ That’s what you said. I thought I could be happy with you.”

Tears clouded Sombra’s eyes. She turned her head away, huffing in stuttered gasps of air. She didn’t speak until her breathing settled down. “You just said it. You are not yourself. You _know_ you’re not yourself.” Sombra went back to staring down at the floor. “It was wrong for me to kiss you back. It was wrong for me to make you think, even for just that one minute, that it was okay.”

It was hard to understand. Amélie’s feelings were her own. She wanted Sombra. She wanted Sombra to kiss her back. And Sombra did. How was any of that wrong? “It’s what we both wanted. I don’t understand-”

“-I know it’s what we both wanted.” Sombra wiped her eyes and looked at Amélie again. “I’ll admit it. I care about you, I do. I wanted nothing more than to kiss you senseless and bring you back here to do it all over again. But it was _wrong_. Because I know better.”

Sombra pointed at Amélie. “You’ve been stuck, isolated, in a small room for months. You have not _spoken_ to anyone in months. You have not _touched_ anyone in months. I sat right here while you slept and watched hours after hours of video footage, footage that showed everything they did to you. The only human interaction you’ve had were with the people who held you down with their gloved hands and stuck a needle in your arm while you screamed.

“You sat in that room for months watching a screen that picked away the person you used to be until you forgot what you did. What they made you do.” Sombra’s shoulders sagged with guilt. “Your feelings for me are born out of a need to escape isolation. You don’t remember the life you had before. But I know exactly who you are. Our dynamic doesn’t work because to return your feelings is to take advantage of you.”

The room closed in on Amélie. The air suffocated her. It got worse each time she looked at Sombra. She couldn’t stand to be in the same room anymore. Amélie got close to Sombra and spoke between clenched teeth. “I need my own bed. Today.”

Sombra nodded. “Okay.”

Amélie walked out of the apartment. She took the stairs to the roof. Tears streamed down her face when she reached the final step. The fresh air of the roof lifted the weight pressing down on her chest. She broke.

She screamed. It didn’t matter if the whole neighborhood heard her.

Amélie reached the railing that lined the roof and fell to her knees. She clutched the metal bars desperately as she leaned her head against them and sobbed an endless amount of tears.

She would have been fine if Sombra hadn’t told her. She could have taken a flat-out rejection. It would have meant she still believed nothing was wrong. She wouldn’t have known that the days she spent in her room alone were months of experiments. She wouldn’t have known that they did something to her, something that made her forget who she was.  

Amélie thought the lapse in memory was nothing to worry about. That she’d remember in time. Everything she knew, Amélie thought she always knew. But that wasn’t the case.

To top it all off, Amélie knew Sombra still hadn’t told her everything.

And that made everything worse.

-

Amélie went back inside after hours on the roof. She noticed the door was open. Cautious steps led her inside. She didn’t find anyone until she got to the once empty bedroom. Sombra had her arms crossed as she leaned against a wall and watched two people assemble a bed frame. She left the room to let them finish.

After finishing a glass of water and watching the two workers leave, Amélie saw Sombra standing in the living room, her eyes looking everywhere but at Amélie.

“The bed’s all set up.”

Amélie went to the hall closet and took out her blanket, passing by Sombra on the way without a word. Inside the room, Amélie noticed that the bed wasn’t the only thing there. Sombra got a dresser and a desk as well.

Amélie put her blanket down on the bed. She picked up her suitcase and properly put away the clothes she had recently cleaned. She moved her rifle case to the desk and checked to see that everything was in working order before coming back to the dresser to change her clothes for bed.

She did everything she could think of to whittle down the time until Amélie found herself finally testing out the new bed. Plush like a cloud. When she laid on it, the bed enveloped her in comfortable support. Already ten times better than the couch.

-

Amélie spent the next day in bed. She only got up for the bathroom, returning to her spot directly after. Sombra had gotten more blankets for the bed but Amélie still preferred the one Sombra first got her. It was still a good blanket.

Occasionally Sombra would knock but Amélie never answered. Not even when the enticing smell of food wafted through the room.

Hunger did eventually win out. Amélie slid out of bed and headed for the door. The plan was to get something quick and come back. She still didn’t want to talk to Sombra.

Walking through the hallway, Amélie paused when she found Sombra sitting on the couch typing away.

Sombra’s fingers stilled at Amélie’s presence. She peered over to Amélie with an unreadable expression. Her mouth opened to speak. Before any words could come out, a knock on the front door interrupted her. Sombra shut her laptop, giving Amélie one more glance before heading for the door.

One of the kids. He stood on the other side crying. Blood dripped from her nose onto the floor and he struggled with keeping his right eye open.

Sombra pulled him inside and hurriedly hoisted him up onto the table. She made a beeline for the freezer and made a makeshift icepack for the boy. When she came back to him, Sombra gently held the icepack up to the swollen eye.

“What happened?”

“My mom lost her job. She was worried about paying the rent. I wanted to help her, so I did anything I could for money. My friends helped too. They’d give me most of the money they earned to help my mom. Somebody broke in today. They took all the money I had saved.” The boy’s lips trembled. “I tried to get it back. I tried so hard.”

Amélie had to sit down. She shook from Sombra’s spot on the couch as she watched Sombra comfort the boy. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched Sombra promise to help.

Sombra had told the boy not to worry anymore, that she’d take care of everything. She called someone to take the boy home and waited with him at the table, telling jokes to get him to laugh.

Before the boy left with a woman with glowing tattoos, Sombra handed him a credit chip and told him to give it to his mom.

One thought kept running through Amélie’s mind after watching that whole exchange.

Why can’t you help me?

It was so easy for Sombra to help the boy. She did it without hesitation. But after months of knowing everything that was done to her, Sombra never offered Amélie an out. Sombra didn’t even tell her what was going on, still hadn’t told her everything.

I want you to be happy. How much of that was a lie?

Sombra looked like she wanted to say something.

Amélie pushed past her and made her way to the roof before Sombra got the chance to speak a single word. Before Amélie broke down all over again.

Footsteps sounded from behind. Sombra had followed her.

“Just go.” Amélie sat hugging her knees, hot tears dripping down her cheeks.

Strong arms wrapped around Amélie. They held her tight despite Amélie’s weak protests. The truth was, she didn’t want Sombra to ever let go because it felt so damn good to be held.

“I’m sorry.” Sombra had her face buried in Amélie’s shirt. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why can’t you help me?” Amélie spoke through broken gulps of air.

“I want to. I want to so badly.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Because they’re not going to stop. You are their first big success. They won’t let you go, even if I manage to get you out. The only reason you’re not allowed to be seen is because the police are still looking for you. And if they find you, Talon will let you rot in prison until they need their sleeper agent to take someone out from the inside.

“This whole assignment was a test. A test of my loyalty. They don’t trust me so they sent me their crown jewel. Part of my job was to watch you. Remember those first two days? You were _supposed_ to report me because this is just as much a test for you. My job was to gauge if there was something wrong with your reconditioning and whatever I tell them will affect what they’ll do to you next. Because I need Talon, I complied with it.”

Images of lab equipment appeared in Amélie’s mind. She could hear her own screaming and the familiar sigh of the doctor that saw her every day.

“This isn’t the first time they wiped your mind. The problem was that your memories kept coming back to the point where you got violent. They trained you to be a world-class assassin and it came back to bite them in the ass. So they wiped your memory again because you couldn’t handle what they made you do.”

Oh Lacroix, are you having trouble again?

“I figured it would be easier to watch you if you were always in the same room as me so that’s why I never bothered to get you a bed.” Sombra took a deep breath. “I could tell from the first fucking day that there was a problem. I’ve been lying to them from day one saying that you were okay. And on top of it all, you were miserable. You were miserable and that was the one thing I could do anything about.”

You were doing so well. It doesn’t matter. We can always start again.

“I just wanted you to be happy, even if it didn’t last for long.”

Panic set in. Amélie gripped Sombra’s arms tight. She tried to control her breathing, to calm down a fraction. There was one thing Sombra didn’t tell her and now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Aching memories from before flooded her mind. She could recall bits and pieces of what Sombra said. Everything except for what she did. She asked a different question instead. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know.” Sombra’s voice cracked. “I probably made things worse by telling you all this.”

Even if Sombra somehow did make everything worse, Amélie knew it was because of good intentions. That made all the difference.

“Then we won’t worry about that.” Amélie pulled away from Sombra’s hold and turned around. She thumbed away the fresh tears on Sombra’s face. “All we have to do is worry about the present.” Leaning in close, she pressed a kiss to a tear-stained cheek.

“Amélie…”

“I know, I know. It’s just a thank you.” A thank you for trying to look out for her, for seeing her as a person.

Sombra touched her cheek. A blush overshadowed the red-streaks of heavy tears. She looked away and nodded.

-

The next day Sombra took Amélie out for the full day. She took Amélie’s words to heart and kept her focus on trying to fulfill her self-made promise instead of worrying about what could happen.

They started at a butterfly garden. Sombra made a comment on how impressed she was that Amélie could stand still enough to entice the butterflies to land on her. She took photos, something she hadn’t done before. “A souvenir for later,” Sombra told Amélie.

For the longest time, Sombra had Amélie impressed with her seemingly endless supply of butterfly facts. She knew every species and their specific quirks. It wasn’t until after they finished their tour of the garden did Sombra confess she was cheating the whole time, pointing to her implants as the culprits helping her. It didn’t matter, Amélie liked hearing about it all the same.

Lunch was ice-cream.

Amélie convinced Sombra to get the sharable deluxe sundae. Four scoops of alternating chocolate and strawberry ice-cream covered in chocolate syrup, strawberries, and whipped cream. It came in a tall glass with two spoons.

It was good. Delicious even. But Amélie especially liked how close she had to be to Sombra to share it. Sombra must have known but she didn’t say anything about it. She just indulged Amélie in telling jokes, letting their skin touch all the while.

In the afternoon, Sombra surprised Amélie with tickets to a football game.

Sombra bought them both full team gear and even went through the trouble of face-paint. The excuse was that Sombra couldn’t shut down everything without the game being canceled. The face-paint and well-positioned hat were to avoid facial recognition software. Amélie also thought it was because Sombra was a big fan of the team. She was the one that screamed the loudest whenever the home team made a goal.

Amélie loved the winning goal. Sombra had jumped up from her seat, excitement raging in her eyes, and wrapped her arm around Amélie’s shoulders. She kissed Amélie on the temple in her excitement.

Despite everything that happened between them Amélie couldn’t help how she felt. She understood what Sombra said before, that she was in a position where her feelings developed for all the wrong reasons. Except that it didn’t feel like that for her.

Maybe, in the beginning, Amélie could admit she craved contact. But that was because they denied her of it apparently for months. And, yes, Amélie was aware that she wasn’t completely herself or maybe even the same person she used to be. But those were things out of her control. Right then, Amélie only cared about how she felt in that moment.

She liked the way Sombra smiled, the witty jokes, and the way Sombra took care to make sure she was happy. Plus, Amélie was still stupidly attracted to the other woman. It didn’t help that she also knew Sombra felt the same way.

That’s why she stopped walking on their walk back to the apartment.

“Sombra.”

Sombra stopped as well and waited for Amélie to speak.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

A frown spread across Sombra’s lips. “Amélie…”

“I understand what you said before, that you don’t want to take advantage of me. But isn’t that proof enough that you’re not?”

“That’s not how it really-”

“-Who’s to say that I ever get back to being the woman you read about in my file? Are you saying my feelings right now don’t matter? That they’re not real enough?”

Sombra scratched at her cheek and focused on the ground. “No.”

Amélie pointed to the building beside them. “Then what’s stopping you from kissing me senseless against this wall and taking me back to the apartment to do it all over again?” She waited with bated breath for an answer. Her pulse pounded in her ears as the seconds ticked by.

Sombra locked eyes with Amélie. Her frown faded away, replaced by a small grin.

The old stone wall scratched against Amélie’s skin. She didn’t care in the slightest. Not when Sombra held her tight and gave her exactly what she wanted.

-

When they got back, Sombra seemed a bit nervous. She slowed down the momentum they had at the front door.

Amélie was the one to lead them inside. She brought Sombra by the hand to the bedroom, dropping it when she got to the bed. She sat down and invited Sombra to join her.

“You sure?” asked Sombra. She stood a step away from the bed.

“I should be asking you that.” Amélie took in how Sombra still seemed apprehensive. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.” Sombra smiled as she rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s just… I really do like you.”

Sombra’s smile was contagious. “Sounds perfect to me.” Amélie reached out her foot and hooked it behind Sombra’s knee. She gave the knee a yank towards herself and laughed when Sombra ended up toppling forward on top of her. “Perfect because I really like you too.”

The nervousness vanished and Sombra had Amélie seeing entire fucking galaxies.

-

Sometime during the night, Amélie woke up. Warm arms held firm around her as a sleeping Sombra whispered gibberish into the air. A shadow cast over the bed. She’d seen it before.

Slowly, Amélie moved her head to glance over the edge of the bed. A man stood there. He bent down until his face came into view.

“I’m surprised you’ve forgotten me for this long.”

Amélie remembered exactly what she did.

-

Gérard.

Amélie saw his lifeless body laying on the same roof as her. She stared down at, recalling every single moment that led up to his death. She remembered it all. It took every ounce of willpower to look away from him, from the image her mind placed. Their last target was almost in view.

Scoping in, Amélie waited patiently for the man to move to the window. Her finger hovered over the trigger. Gérard stepped in front of the scope right as her sights lined up.

“I hope you’re not going to do the same thing to him that you did to me. That really hurt you know.”

She squeezed the trigger.

Sombra’s voice carried over the comms. “Did you get him?”

Amélie blinked. She peered through her scope and her heart dropped. “Shit.”

Sombra appeared next to Amélie in an instant. Panic spread across her face as she checked the video surveillance footage. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Amélie had missed and the target made a run for it.

“Just stay here. I got this.”

Even if Sombra hadn’t asked her, Amélie still wouldn’t have moved. She was stuck agonizing over her mistake. A clean shot. She missed a clean fucking shot.

From her spot on the roof, Amélie saw Sombra running at top speed in the direction of the fleeing man. Sombra had thrown a translocator and used it to topple him over. A flurry of bullets entered his chest. Sombra bent over and caught her breath. When she straightened up, she kicked the dead man in frustration, screaming something Amélie couldn’t hear the whole time.

None of it boded well for Amélie.

-

They called her back hours after the last kill. Sombra saw her off.

She was crying.

-

Once this is all over, they’re going to sit you down. They’re going to ask you about everything that happened. And you’re going to tell them every last detail. Because that’s what you’re programmed to do.

Sombra’s words from nights ago rang clear in Amélie’s mind. She shook in her seat, already dreading being in the small, white room. Gérard sat across from her smiling. Amélie tried to ignore him. Useless.

“Lacroix,” A man took the seat Gérard was in, “tell me what happened.”

Amélie started off from the first moment she stepped off the dropship months ago. She told him every thought, every feeling, and everything that happened down to the smallest detail. It came freely like each word out of her mouth was voluntary.

She noticed the man frown at the mention of Sombra, his eyes rolling in annoyance. He had her skip past most of her recounting that had to deal with Sombra.

The man jotted something down on his tablet and then placed it on the table. “Tell me, Lacroix, do you still see Gérard?”

Amélie peered to her left and saw a hand clutching her shoulder. It had a wedding band. “Yes.”

“How would you feel if I told you we could take that pain away?”

It felt like they had that conversation before. She told him as much.

The man laughed. “We’ve worked out a better treatment for you. What do you say?”

Knowing everything they’ve done to her, Amélie still nodded her head. Because anything was better than a living nightmare.

-

She opened her eyes, remembering that she was on an examination table. The doctors were still performing tests. She had woken up a month ago and every day was the same routine.

They said it was to avoid a repeat of last time. She could recall an event in which she killed many agents that tried to restrain her. But she no longer felt that way anymore. Couldn’t even feel actually. Not even the iciness of the once cold instruments used to prod at her now blue skin.

Every test had her recount the night she killed her husband. And she did it without a problem, remembering every detail and not caring in the slightest about what she did.

Eventually, she was cleared for field work again. Her first assignment was with a new partner.

-

Purple eyes peered across from her on the dropship. Her partner, Sombra was her name, wouldn’t stop staring. She didn’t ask about it. She didn’t care to know why Sombra was staring.

“Hey, uh, Widowmaker.” Sombra bit her bottom lip, twirling a finger around her purple-tipped hair that stopped at her shoulder.

Widowmaker arched an eyebrow, letting Sombra know she was listening.

“You ever been to Mexico?”

“No.”

Sombra’s face fell. She quickly schooled her features and smiled. “Ah, really? You should go when you have vacation.”

“Why?”

Sombra shrugged. “Just a suggestion.”

Widowmaker sighed and leaned further into her seat. They had an assignment to do. It wasn’t the time for idle chatter. “Just focus on the mission.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

As time ticked by, Widowmaker could have sworn Sombra was crying.

She had no idea why.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> If you have any questions about what the hell this story was about, I'm happy to answer all of them.


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